Are we "over parenting"?

I recenty read an article in TIME Magzine (November 30,2009) after the cover caught my eye. It was a boy who appeared to be around 10 or so and he was attached to strings as a puppet would be.

Catching my eye, I quickly located the article and read it in it's entireity and it really got me to thinking.

Having been a parent now for going on 5 years and a father of two for now 4 years, I find that all to often, Tracy (my wife) is reminding me of how old they REALLY are. I know I have fault here of maybe being over protective or too hard on them and not allowing them to be 3 and 4 year old boys. As with anything new and if you are already a parent, you learn as you go. They can really test your nerves almost on a daily basis.

While reading the article, I remember being about the same age of the boy on the front cover and thinking back of what all I did do when I was at that age. I asked myself, "did my mom and dad really know where I was or what I was doing OR, who I was with?" The answer is, they knew I was out of trouble and I could take care of myself. They were not breathing down my neck calling all my friends parents wanting to know if I was there or not if THEY knew where I was and who I was with. At least to my knowledge they didn't.

The majority of my life growing up, I lived at the corner of a well traveled road and the entrance into a housing development which was basically full and only one or two empty lots. At the end of my development, back in the woods about a 100 yards or so, there was a creek. A creek that I now know goes from behind the Middle School in Walkertown all they way to Belews Lake. It was probably 3 or 4 of us went down to the creek just to mess around and walk. It was in the summer time, we were out of school and it was hot. We played in the creek for about 30 minutes or so and then everyone else, but me, was ready to go back home. I told them to go on and I would go home later. They left. After about another 15 minutes or so,I made my way back and could not find where we had cut through the woods to get to the to the creek in the first place. So, I started walking back the way I had came and I walked for about an hour or so and finally made my way back to where I knew I would surely run into Belews Creek Rd. I walked and walked and walked. I was soaking wet from walking in the creek and sweating my butt off. I finally came to the end of a field and could see houses on the other side. The fields were about 500 yards long. When I made my way to the other side, this guy seen me and knew I was scared and lost. I asked him where I was and he told me I was at the dead end of Corvette Lane. I knew exactly where I was but I was tired. He knew I was tired. I was about 2 1/2 miles from my house and graciously gave me a ride home. When I walked in the door, Mom was talking to her best friend on the phone and she told me that I was late for supper and that I would have to heat it back up. I told her that I had just gotten lost in the woods and someone from Corvette Lane had brought me home. She looked at me and while still on the phone, told me to go get my wet clothes off and eat.

There was NO concern what so ever. While I was glad I found my way home and I had been gone for over 4 hours, I would have expected some concern even at the point of her knowing that a complete stranger brought me home. Nope, that didn't happen.

I was pretty much able to do what ever I wanted to do as long as it was legal and no one got hurt. I find myself now, telling my kids not to do this and not to do that for the simple fact, I don't want to see them get hurt.

Recently, we over to one of Jared's schoolmates house. He lives with his grandparents on 40 acres. There is a lot of stuff this little guy to do. His grandfather has several tractors and a whole bunch of neat stuff. Montana, (Jared's schoolmate) has his own 4-wheeler and can ride it better than I think I could. He also drives one of those Mules where he pretty much has to stand up to reach the gas pedal and drive at the same time. We asked ourselves, would we let Jared and Jeremy do that? Probably not. Montana's grandfather told us that he doesn't tell Montana that he can't do anything but yet makes him aware of the hazards and unless it could kill him, he lets him do. Now, don't get me wrong, Montana doesn't seem like the spoiled brat type kid. He's well mannered and very nice and is NOT selfish. This makes me think, am I really one of these over protective parents that the magazine is written about?

Just something to think about. The other thing that I think makes us more cautious is we live in a society where there are a lot more criminals and child molesters out there than was before. That's another story.

I guess we all need to step back re-assess ourselves and go from there.

Just my point of view.